


Waiting

by happyevraftr



Series: Always You [2]
Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-24
Updated: 2011-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-26 09:32:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyevraftr/pseuds/happyevraftr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What if" based on 2.1 "The Return" What should have happened when Damon visited Elena. *His chest was pushing against mine, both hands were on either side of my face and his breath tickled my cheek when he talked. He was too close, way too close.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> In this story I reference Katherine and Damon's confrontation. I am refering to my version of how that meeting took place as written in my one-shot "Jar of Hearts". While you don't have to read it first, it will give a much better look into where Damon's mind is in this oneshot. A big thank you to my beta reader YoungBoho for giving this a lookover! This story is from Elena's POV.

(banner a gift from[](http://shan-3414.livejournal.com/profile)[ **shan_3414**](http://shan-3414.livejournal.com/) )

My mind wandered over the events of the past few days while I ran a brush through my tangled hair. I was tired and worried about Katherine being in town. She was nothing but trouble bundled into a package that happened to look exactly like me. Or I guess it was more me looking like her. I shuddered at the thought and set the brush down so I could look in the mirror. I promised myself I would never let our similarities go beyond outward appearance. I never wanted to come close to being the monster she was. I finished getting ready for bed as I pondered what Katherine's appearance meant—what or who she was here for. I was worried about keeping my friends and family safe and what she could do to people while pretending to be me. She could literally make my life hell and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

With a heavy heart, I unlocked Jeremy's side of the bathroom and returned to my room. I stopped short when I saw a certain raven-haired vampire occupying my bed. My forehead creased when I saw his slumped shoulders and a bottle of alcohol in his hand. Damon and drinking never went well together, especially when he was upset. Considering I could smell the scotch on him from across the room, I knew things couldn't be good. Regardless of the danger, he was still my friend and I wanted to comfort him. Slowly, I made my way over and sat down next to him on the bed. Neither of us said anything for a long while; I think we were both enjoying the small amount of peace and safety the other's company brought.

Finally, he raised his grief-ridden eyes to mine, and my heart broke for him. A fierce protective instinct filled me, and I wanted to find whoever was responsible for that look and kill them for putting him in so much pain. It was truly a rare occasion when Damon let his emotions show so clearly; especially since he found out Katherine wasn't in the tomb. Unlike most people, though, he couldn't fool me. We had an understanding so to speak. I knew that he had emotions; he just pretended to be evil to cover them up. He'd been showing them to me more and more lately. That thought probably should have alarmed me; being the reason for your boyfriend's brother return to humanity could cause some problems. At first I thought maybe it was just because I looked like Katherine, but was much nicer personality-wise. Lately, though, I'd been wondering whether it was something more. That Damon could have feelings for me—Elena, not Katherine—was slightly terrifying. I couldn't be in-between brothers like she had been. As it was, Stefan barely tolerated my friendship with Damon. Unfortunately, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, because while I didn't want Damon to be romantically interested in me, he needed a friend. Badly. I knew his violent, psychotic behavior was only retaliation from the hurt and rejection he'd felt all his life. Deep down, there was good inside of him. He just needed someone to believe in him, and somehow, that responsibility fell on my shoulders.

"You're upset, and you've been drinking." I stated the obvious and he just looked away in response. Gently, I put my hand on top of his and continued. "That's not a good combination."

"I'm not upset. Upset is an emotion specific to those who care."

"Come on Damon that's a lie, you care." He brushed my hand off and raised his eyes to meet mine. The hurt was still there, but it was laced with a barely controlled anger directed at me. A jolt of terror went down my spine; I knew the next words out of his mouth were not going to bode well for me.

"You're surprised that I thought you would kiss me back? You can't imagine that I'd believe that you'd want to? That what we've been doing here means something?" My mouth dropped in awe and my insides screamed in frustration that he was trying to broach this topic. How could he not understand that even if I were feeling something for him (and unfortunately, that IF was getting smaller everyday), I could not and would not ever admit it to him. Not two seconds ago I looked myself dead in the eye and promised I wouldn't be like Katherine, and now here Damon was, trying to force me to do exactly that. Tears gathered at the corner of my eyes, upset that he could be so inconsiderate of my feelings. I knew he wanted to be picked, I realized the man needed to be loved, but I was not the right woman to do it. Much to my dismay, he continued his rant.

"You're the liar, Elena. There is something going on between the two of us, and you know it." I got off the bed to put some distance between us, but he followed me, pushing me back into the wall. "And you're lying to me, and you're lying to Stefan, and most of all you're lying to yourself. I can prove it."

At that point, my breathing was erratic and I just couldn't think. His chest was pushing against mine, both hands were on either side of my face and his breath tickled my cheek when he talked. He was too close, _way_ too close to me. I wanted to duck out from underneath him and run, but fear froze me in place. Before I could contemplate what he was doing, his mouth descended on mine. I managed to get out a muffled "No!" but it didn't stop him.

Sadly, I wanted to stop him from kissing me not because he was my boyfriend's brother or because it repulsed me, but because I knew—heaven help me, I _knew—_ that it would bring things to the surface that I had been doing everything within me to keep buried. His lips were so soft against mine, even though the kiss was frantic and demanding. My skin was on fire from its intensity. Electric shocks of pleasure were coursing through my body, making me hum with energy, and I wasn't even kissing him back! If it weren't so incredibly wrong, I would have said that it was the best non-kiss of my life. The dam within my heart broke, and I knew I couldn't deny the truth; I definitely had feelings for Damon Salvatore. Somewhere along the way, our understanding and friendship had grown into so much more. The tears I had been holding back started to spill down my cheeks. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be like her.

I pushed at his chest with all my might, but of course, he didn't' budge. When he let up for a second to allow me to breathe, I pushed as hard as I could against his chest. "Stop, Damon! Please, stop!"

He pulled back to arms length and looked at me with hunger and determination.

"Don't do this Damon, I'm your friend and I always will be. But I can't be there for you like that." I didn't exactly deny having feelings for him, but I was sincerely hoping he would gloss over that fact.

"Stop trying to lie to me, Elena!" He growled and started bringing his lips back to mine. I cursed my insides for doing a flop at the thought of his lips on mine again while my heart was being torn apart from becoming more and more like Katherine.

"I'm not lying! Damon, what happened tonight? Just tell me what's wrong and we can talk about it." I saw a lifetime's worth of pain flicker in his eyes before it was suddenly gone on the lust returned. He pushed himself flesh against me and my breath caught in my throat.

"I can feel how your heart is racing. You're mouth is saying one thing, but your body is telling me something very different. You can't deny that, so stop lying!" He slammed one hand against the wall by my head, making me jump and adrenaline spike through my veins. Sensing my fear, he took a deep breath and stroked the side of my face. "Don't you know I'd never hurt you?"

My emotions were all over the place and it took a massive amount of willpower to not lean into his touch. Damon was like a raging storm at sea and I was right in the middle of the chaos. He was trying to sweep me in and never let go. An image of Stefan popped into my head and I knew I had to stop this somehow. I had to make him understand even if it meant revealing more about my feelings for him than I would have liked. I whimpered in frustration before raising my eyes to meet his. I mustered up all the courage I could and let the hurt and frustration be fully conveyed in my eyes and voice.

"Damon, I can't have this conversation with you."

He looked at me expectantly, like he was just waiting for me to mention Stefan or deny my feelings again so he could completely snap. I pushed myself even closer to him and cupped his cheek in my hand. A single tear rolled down my face as I gave him what he wanted- I admitted my feelings to him; just not in the way he expected.

"Why are you trying to make me be like her?" It barely came out as a whisper, but I knew he could hear me. His face clouded in surprise, frustration and a trace of joy. He knew what I meant; that I had feelings for him, but I couldn't act on them- that I couldn't ever be like Katherine. I took a deep breath to try and calm my shaking body down. Tears were still streaming down my face, and my shoulders were sagging in defeat. I was so tired, too tired to deal with this any longer. Damon stood motionless for a while before he pulled me into a tight embrace and rested his chin on my head. For just a second I let go and found comfort in his arms. I cried hard for feeling like her, for feeling like I'd still somehow betrayed Stefan, and for hurting the already broken man in front of me.

Jeremy picked that moment to knock slightly on my doorframe and peak his head inside. He took note of my tear-stained face and Damon's presence and look worried for me. "Everything okay in here, sis?"

I stepped out of Damon's embrace so I could look at my brother. "Yeah, everything's fine Jer. It's just been a rough couple of days." I somehow managed a reassuring smile at him.

Being the great little brother he his, he mouthed "You sure?" I stifled a small laugh and nodded my head. "Okay then, goodnight." He left and I let out a sigh of relief. I wasn't really sure what was going through Damon's head now, but I knew he still wasn't stable. I didn't think he'd hurt me, but I wasn't so sure about anyone else—including Jeremy.

After what felt like ages, Damon led us both over to the bed to sit down. I chanced a glance in his direction and noticed that his cheeks were now glistening from tears as well. I wanted to reach over and hold his hand again, but I wasn't sure what reaction I would get from him so I refrained.

"What happened, Damon?" He sighed in defeat and took a moment to compose himself before answering me.

"Katherine came by the boarding house tonight." I bristled with anger and hatred for my look-a-like. Of course it would be Katherine who tore Damon apart like that. He sat there for a while longer without saying anything, apparently not wanting to elaborate on the subject.

"And what did she do to make you so upset?" He swallowed hard and took a deep unnecessary breath. I wished he'd look at me so I could tell how he was doing, but he remained staring down at his hands.

"At first she just wanted us to get back together, one last romp in the hay for old time's sake I guess." The idea of Damon and Katherine in bed together made me viciously angry and extremely jealous. I scowled at the mental picture, but let him continue.

"I won't lie, I thought about it for a second. I thought I was in love with her for such a long time. But . . ." He paused and looked me in the eye for the first time since I essentially rejected him. "But then your face popped in my head and everything about you shows how much of an evil maniacal person she is, and I could never be with her after knowing you." His face confirmed the sincerity of his words.

Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh and my lips turned into a soft smile. His words were like a soothing balm over everything that had just made me feel identical to Katherine.

"Thank you. I needed to hear that. I don't ever want to be like her. I don't want to hurt people or come between you and Stefan." I gave him a pointed look to let him know that's exactly what would have happened should anything have actually transpired between us.

"You could never be like her. Ever."

I smiled genuinely and scooted a little closer. "So what else happened? I doubt it was just Katherine's sexual advances that got you this worked up."

He quickly looked away and I could see his entire body tense up. He ran his hands through his hair and I saw another tear sliding down his cheek. "She told me she never loved me, that it was always Stefan." He started crying harder and choking on his words. "That she still loves Stefan."

"Oh Damon, I'm so sorry!" Considering his earlier actions, I probably shouldn't have thrown my arms around him and pulled him as close as possible, but I did. I couldn't believe how cruel and heartless Katherine could really be. Regardless of whether he denied her advances, it still had to be hard to hear those words from the women he'd been in love with for over a hundred years. He cried on my shoulder for a bit before leaning back and trying to wipe the tears away.

"Sorry for the waterworks, guess that's not suiting for a vampire huh? Don't let work get out or it'll ruin my reputation." I smiled at him to try and soothe some of his uneasiness.

"I promise that you're secret is safe with me." I knew the exorbitant amount of alcohol was the only reason I was seeing Damon Salvatore in such a vulnerable state, but it was kind of nice. No masks, no games, no false pretenses—just us. And it was scary how real we could be with each other. I scooted up on my bed and pulled the covers back. Against my better judgment, I motioned for him to come lay down with me. He obliged with no questions as to why I was allowing him in my bed.

"Just for tonight and no funny business. You don't need to be alone right now and I'm still your friend." We both ended up on our sides facing each other. This was about the only position I could be comfortable in since his touch brought out feelings I couldn't act on. His eyes were still misty from unshed tears he was trying to hold back.

"Why do you think I'm so unlovable?"

"Oh Damon, you're not unlovable. You just haven't found the right person yet."

He grabbed my hand under the blanket and brought it to his lips. "Actually I have, she just isn't ready yet." I wanted to pull my hand away and tell him that I never would be ready for us, that it would always be Stefan, but I didn't have the heart to break him like that after what Katherine had done. Instead, I gave him a sweet smile and told him to go to sleep. He closed his eyes, but he never let go of my hand. I slept better that night than I had in a long time. I felt safe and at peace knowing he was there for me. Even with Katherine around, I knew he wouldn't let anything hurt me.

The next morning, I didn't wake up until later in the day. We were both still in our respective places with our fingers entwined. I took a moment to stare at his face. He looked serene and peaceful while he slept—almost innocent. I brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face and thought that was probably how he looked before Katherine got her claws into him. Not wanting to suffer the pickup lines and banter of waking up in bed with a sober Damon, I quickly got ready for the day and went downstairs to make us some breakfast.

Just as I was finishing up the pancakes, Damon walked into the kitchen. Without saying anything, I pulled out a bench and set a cup of coffee down in front of him. I went to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I could tell he was struggling to keep his masks down and be sincere.

"I'm sorry for what I tried to do last night and thank you. For everything." He released me and suddenly found the cup of coffee to be the most interesting thing in the room. I knew an apology from Damon was a slight miracle so I smiled and accepted it.

"Would you like regular or blueberry pancakes?"

"Blueberry." I gave him several blueberry pancakes and plated some regular ones for myself. I sat across from him and noticed the smirk dancing on his lips. "What's the smirk for?" I asked.

"I can say I've slept with you." His eyes danced with mischief and did that thing I secretly loved.

"No you cannot!" I squealed at him and slapped his shoulder.

And just like that, it was like nothing had happened. We were back to our usual banter and Damon had his masks firmly back in place. I knew neither of us would forget last night, that it had irrevocable changed things between us. I also knew he would always be waiting for when I was ready. And as much as I try to fight it, part of me is waiting, too.

* * *

 _A/N: Tada! I really loved this idea and what this one-shot turned into. So **PLEASE leave me some feedback** and let me know your opinions! Much much love to all of you!_

Next story in the "Always You" series: The Heart Remembers 


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